My life has felt extremely hectic ever since Thanksgiving kicked off the 2010 holiday season. I felt like I was spinning the plates of auditions, rehearsals, performances, lessons, coachings, and- oh, yeah- the day job that makes it all possible. However, with the closing of Dicapo’s The Saint of Bleecker Street on March 6th, I’ve had a dramatic increase in spare time and decrease in plates to keep in motion. I thought once I had free time, I would spend endless hours in a sea of bubbles in my bathtub, but my hands are far less pruny than I’d anticipated. Turns out the old saying was right, nature does abhor a vacuum…even if it’s freeing up time for me to vacuum.
I am currently in singer limbo, in between performances, auditions, and competitions. I am trying to use this time to learn new repertoire and polish the old, but more often than not, I jump at the chance to work more hours at my day job, a place where my life is structured and simple. I hide behind my persona of the weight loss guru because I feel like less of a singer when my only audience consists of those in my building, listening to my shrieking through the walls. I think some of this comes from a type of post-partum depression of finishing a performance. Bleecker was an almost two-month long labor of love, and I think I’m suffering from withdrawals of friendships and falsettos. The beauty of Dicapo Opera is that I know I will see most of the artists in residence again, so I don’t have the letdown of not knowing if I will again come across these performers with whom I’ve already bonded. I’m just floating around until that day comes.
I’m trying to fill the bleak Bleecker void with experiences as an audience member, as opposed to a performer. Many wonderful plays, musicals, and operas are opening this season, and if I weren’t such a starving artist, I would see all of them! Though I am limited to those performances that offer rush deals, I am determined to experience as much as possible. I am hoping that seeing Natalie Dessay’s Lucia this week will reignite that coloratura flame in me that is slightly in need of stoking.
Perhaps this agitation, restlessness, and anticipation is fueled by my desire for spring to arrive. I think there is a general desire all around New York to shed these heavy coats and debut the warm weather wardrobe. Easter is very late this year and the sun seems to be as well. Mother Nature tempts us with previews of brighter days ahead, but then a chill comes back to remind us we are not there yet. It is very hard to get excited about my summer gigs when I can hardly remember what summer feels like (though my family in San Diego is always eager to remind me over the phone). I am ready for the apple cider stands and the Union Square Greenmarket convert to lemonade stands. I am ready to see fireworks instead of frost, tank tops instead of turtlenecks, and iced tea instead of an icy me. Then I’ll truly have something to sing about!
